Syrena and Philip ( Sam Claflin), a cleric, lock eyes and hearts. We get to meet only one of the mermaids, the well-named Syrena ( Astrid Berges-Frisbey), comely and doe-eyed, with one of those official hairdos that cleverly conceals the delightful bits. Yes, a special reflector used in an old lighthouse casts light on one of the longboats, and light attracts mermaids, and it's a nasty sight. All three boats pitch up on the same beach and fight each other to the fountain. Get this sailor some Lubriderm.Īlso in the race is a boatload of Spanish sailors, sent by their king. Rush is as always a dependable actor, but his sandpapery complexion is rather alarming here. Blackbeard is in a race to find the fountain before Captain Barbossa ( Geoffrey Rush), who is being financed by King George, who needs to drink from the fountain none too soon. The ship's crew includes zombies, which is a step up from previous crew members in the series, skeletons. Angelica and Jack set sail for the new world aboard a ship commanded by Blackbeard ( Ian McShane), who is said to be her father. The best way to describe the plot is by explaining that the Fountain of Youth is the MacGuffin. It's all impossible leaping and incomprehensible cutting, giving us all of the movement of action and none of the excitement. We no longer see truly great sword-fighting, the kind performed by Liam Neeson and Tim Roth in ' Rob Roy' (1995).

Whether he is a competent swashbuckler is hard to say, because the fight sequences here are composed in the editing and do not seem to exist in an actual space-time continuum. He plays Jack Sparrow as an insouciant wise guy, rarely ruffled, always ready with a quip. Johnny Depp, who confesses he's rather tired of playing his relentless hero, nevertheless does a plucky job here. That anyone would still want to sail under Jack's command is a tribute to the daring of British seamen.

An opening sequence is fun, as Captain Jack impersonates a British judge, is chased through London,and discovers his old amour, Angelica ( Penelope Cruz) attempting to impersonate him while raising the crew for a ship. I had fleeting hopes for this episode of the Disney franchise.

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